Basic Principles of Good Parent/Child Communication

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• Let the child know that you are interested and involved and that you will help when needed.
• Turn off the television or put the newspaper down when your child wants to converse.
• Avoid taking a telephone call when the child has something important to tell you.
• Unless other people are specifically meant to be included, hold conversations in privacy. The best communication between you and the child will occur when others are not around.
• Embarrassing the child or putting him on the spot in front of others will lead only to resentment and hostility, not good communication.
• Don’t tower over your child. Physically get down to the child’s level then talk.
• If you are very angry about a behavior or an incident, don’t attempt communication until you regain your cool, because you cannot be objective until then. It is better to stop, settle down, and talk to the child later.
• If you are very tired, you will have to make an extra effort to be an active listener. Genuine active listening is hard work and is very difficult when your mind and body are already tired.
• Listen carefully and politely. Don’t interrupt the child when he is trying to tell his story. Be as courteous to your child as you would be to your best friend.
• Don’t be a wipe-out artist, unraveling minor threads of a story and never allowing the child’s own theme to develop. This is the parent who reacts to the incidentals of a message while the main idea is list: i.e., the child starts to tell about what happened and the parent says, “I don’t care what they are doing, but you had better not be involved in anything like that.”
• Don’t ask why, but do ask what happened.
• If you have knowledge of the situation, confront the child with the information that you know or have been told.
• Keep adult talking (“You’ll talk when I’m finished.” “I know what’s best for you.” “Just do what I say and that will solve the problem”), preaching and moralizing to a minimum because they are not helpful in getting communication open and keeping it open.
• Don’t use put-down words or statements: dumb, stupid, lazy: “Stupid, that makes no sense at all” or “What do you know, you’re just a child.”
• Assist the child in planning some specific steps to the solution.
• Show that you accept the child himself, regardless of what he has or has not done.
• Reinforce the child for keeping communication open. Do this by accepting him and praising his efforts to communicate.

Words of Encouragement and Praise
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Does Chronic Illness Cause Depression?

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Chronic illness affects the population worldwide and it is the leading cause of death and disability in the United States. It accounts for 70% of all deaths in the U.S., which is 1.7 million each year. More than 125 million Americans have at least one chronic illness and estimates that by the year 2020, 157 million Americans will have a chronic illness.

Examples of chronic illnesses include diabetes, heart disease, arthritis, kidney disease, HIV/AIDS, lupus, and multiple sclerosis. Many people with these illnesses become depressed. In fact, depression is one of the most common complications of chronic illness. It’s estimated that up to one-third of people with a serious medical condition have symptoms of depression.
The symptoms of depression are sometimes overlooked because they are overshadowed by the illness or dismissed as normal feelings of a person dealing with a chronic illness. Read More

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What is happiness?

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Happiness comes from balancing your mind, body, and spirit.

  • Exercise regularly
  • Don’t consume too much alcohol and junk food
  • Try to get enough sleep
  • Clear the heaviness from your mind through meditation, yoga or prayer.

It is also important to balance the time between colleagues and friends. If you only spend time with colleagues and miss out on the time with friends, then your social network is missing.

Similarly, if you spend every minute of your available time with your partner and disregard the importance of buddies, your social life will be impacted. Read More

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Anxiety and Personal Space

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                                -Anxiety Expands Personal Space-
We all have an invisible field around us that we dislike other people invading. In front of the face it’s generally about 20-40cm; if others get closer without our permission, it feels weird. But, researchers have found that for anxious people, their personal space is larger. So, don’t charge up too close to anxious people, their “safety margin” is larger (Sambo & Iannetti, 2013).

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So, what is a MFT?

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It seems that many people are confused about Marriage and Family Therapists scope of practice. A lot of you have asked if I am a marriage counselor and work with married couples only. I will briefly go over what is MFTs scope of practice and what kind of individuals MFTs work with.

Having a degree in Marriage and Family Therapy allows an individual to diagnose and treat mental health issues a patient is presenting. A MFT is a psychotherapist who looks at the individual and his/her identified problem(s) or issue(s) within the context of his or her relationships, marital, familial or otherwise. This may include work relationships, friendships, or other relationships outside of marriage or family. Meaning, it is within the scoop of practice for MFTs to treat individuals who are not married or are not involved in a romantic relationship. So, what is MFTs scope of practice? The answer is RELATIONSHIPS. Practically every person is involved in relationships of some kind. Virtually everyone has parents, grandparents, or siblings, or persons in their lives that resemble familial relationships. The patient’s mental state or disorder is regularly either impacted by or may affect these other relationships. Therefore, a patient’s problem(s) or issue(s) can be address within the context of his/her relationships. Thus, the profession of marriage and family therapists.

I hope this cleared out the confusion many of you had. Feel free to get in touch with me if you have any further questions.

Have a blessed day,

Shushan

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Are you depressed or just feeling down?

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Although depression is often thought of being in an extreme state of sadness, there is a huge difference between clinical depression and feeling down or sad. Sadness is something we all experience; it is a normal, human emotion. Feeling down is a natural reaction to painful circumstances. In fact, it is OK to feel unhappy at times. All of us will experience sadness at some point in our lives. However, sadness is not regular. Sadness is not an every moment of every day thing. Sadness goes away, depression does not. Depression, on the other hand, is an illness with many more symptoms than a sad mood. A person with clinical depression can feel lost in figuring out the reason behind his dark feelings. The depressed person loses interest in activities he enjoyed before. He is constantly tired, anxious, and is not sleeping well. There is significant weight changes and lack of concentration. Sometimes, he thinks it might be better if he was not alive anymore…


8 Things to remember when depressed: Read More

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