Photo by carolynabooth via Pixabay

When seniors experience the loss of a spouse, the grief can be debilitating. Their life’s companion, the person they made life-changing decisions with, the person by their side for better or worse, is gone. Some clinicians believe that we move through stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, if an elderly widow or widower becomes too ingrained in one of those stages, the grief can turn into something much more serious.

What grief looks like

Grief with seniors comes in many forms. When dealing with the death of a spouse, seniors may experience:

• Inability to make decisions
• Loss of energy and appetite
• Painful longing for their partner
• Anger or guilt at being left behind
• Withdrawal from social activities
• Bouts of depression or disorientation

How to help

Whether or not a grieving senior reaches out for help, you can watch for these signs and offer gentle support. Be a polite but persistent presence. Be sure to acknowledge their feelings. When they are ready and open, share your own memories and encourage them to share theirs. Be a good listener. Let them talk, or sit with them in silence. They may likely be confused, sad, angry and guilty; let them vocalize these feelings in a safe space, with no feelings of judgement. 

Be proactive. Talk with the grieving senior about the practical assistance you can give. Offer to help them with chores around the house, paying bills, maintaining vehicles, and getting exercise and socializing. This way not only can you help reduce their stress during a difficult time, but you can always watch for the warning signs that they might be plummeting deeper into their grief.

One easy way to get a grieving senior out of their grief is by helping them connect with others. Reaching out to former classmates is a great way to help break through the dark fog of mourning.

Issues can arise

It’s not uncommon for grieving spouses to rely on advice from others to cope with their loss. However, sometimes when people are dealing with deep emptiness and loss, they turn to substances to numb the pain. This is especially dangerous for seniors, many of whom are on medications that might have adverse complications with drugs and alcohol.

Sometimes seniors view reaching out for help as a sign of weakness or as a burden to their families. When dealing with the darkness alone, they might turn to the comfort of prescription medications or alcohol. Studies show people over 65 tend to be generously prescribed medications for blood pressure, pain, anxiety and depression. If an elderly widow or widower is prescribed these medications, he or she may start increasing the dose or frequency to help calm nerves and emotions. 

On the other hand, these medications can also be much stronger if taken with or on alcohol. Have you noticed the surviving senior drinking more than usual? Have you noticed overt or subtle signs of intoxication more frequently than you’d like? This could be a sign that the surviving senior spouse might be succumbing to the grip of substance abuse. 

It might be tempting to ignore these signs, even for a little while. You may think that a little extra help during this tough time isn’t so bad. It might be so hard to watch them go through the grief that you might even think they deserve a little escape. This can be a slippery slope. 

When a senior suffers loss, they may exhibit behaviors that are out of the norm. Be patient and understanding, but also be observant to their triggers and coping mechanisms. Keep watch for activities that might cause a downward spiral. 

Paying attention—that’s the best way to help an elderly person who is suffering from the loss of a loved one. Be present, be attentive, and be supportive. That way you can recognize the signs of a healthy healing process or when something more dangerous is going on. Encourage them to see their doctor or speak to a trusted advisor for counseling.

This article is brought to you by Shushan Khachatryan, a psychotherapist providing therapy to individuals, couples, and adolescents. Shushan’s goal is to assist you in your journey of working towards your potential and improving your well-being. For more information, contact her today at (818) 926-3030.

Author: Jennifer Scott

Immigrants seeking a better life help create a wonderful culture of diversity. But along with the benefits of earning a living as an immigrant, there are also challenges. Cultural differences can be confusing or mysterious at first, and there is also the consideration of how you’ll help your family back home with their financial needs. Here are a few tips for immigrants who want to engage their new communities while also supporting their families.

If you need help coping or are struggling with anxiety as a new immigrant, psychotherapist Shushan Khachatryan can help you handle life’s challenges. Call or text (818) 926-3030. 

Consider Starting a Business

Many immigrants choose to work for an employer. There is nothing wrong with this choice, but if you want to maximize your earning potential, you may want to consider opening your own business. Many immigrants are highly successful as entrepreneurs.

When starting a business, consider forming a limited liability company. While there are other business structures available, an LLC offers tax advantages and flexibility that other business types don’t offer. The tax advantages of an LLC may help you save more money so you can send more back to your family. 

Selecting the right business tools to help your operation run smoothly is also important. Look for as much automation as possible, such as software that can assist in inventory management, time tracking, payroll, sales, and reporting. Look for software with apps that allow for remote use so you can make the best financial decisions in a timely manner.

Send Money and Packages Back Home Periodically

If you know your family back home is struggling, send them money and care packages periodically. Transferring money back home can be done in a variety of ways. Many immigrants choose to send money transfers through their banks, but you can save by using a low-fee money transfer service like Remitly. For example, if you need to send money to Brazil, you can use their $5.99 express option which will transfer your money in just a few minutes. If you’re sending care packages to a country like India, Parcel Monkey offers affordable rates and home pickup. 

Learn About Resources Available to You

There are a variety of resources available for immigrants, so it’s important to take advantage of them. In addition to organizations that provide legal assistance, there are also educational services, study abroad opportunities and more available. You’re never alone as an immigrant, so take the time to research organizations and resources near you. Check with your local government leaders if you aren’t sure what resources are available for immigrants in your area. They should help point you in the direction of organizations that can help you acclimate to your new environment. 

Become Involved in Your Community

Though it may seem intimidating at first, it’s important to get involved in your new community. Become an active part of local events so you can enrich the lives of those around you. As an immigrant, you bring a unique perspective to the table and can help improve the atmosphere for others like you. You can get more involved by building relationships with government leaders and organizations near you. You can also help bring attention to issues that directly concern immigrants. Attend local meetings when possible, and as Psych Central suggests, do what you can to volunteer to improve the new community you now call home. 

Volunteering can not only help you help your new home, it can also help you develop your career or business. It’s loaded with networking opportunities, and it’s a chance to grow your skill set. 

Every immigrant has the potential to become a valued and involved member of his or her new community. Consider what that will look like for you; there are opportunities to plug in through volunteering, a new job, or even a business of your own. Connect with the resources available, and reap the many benefits your new home offers. 

Author: Cheryl Conklin

Wellness Central

What does it mean to live your best life? The answer will be different depending on who you are and what stage you are currently in. Regardless of how you envision an ideal existence, there are a few common steps you can take to get there. Eating right, exercising, being positive, and learning to love without inhibitions are universal ways to care for yourself so that you can create the best version of you there is. Here’s some helpful tips and advice to get you started, brought to you by psychotherapist Shushan Khachatryan.

Eat right all the time.

As the Wildly Healthy Coaching blog points out, eating better does not mean changing your lifestyle all at once. Instead, a healthy diet, like achieving your goals, starts with small steps. You might, for example, plant a garden in 2021 instead of buying all of your produce at the grocery store. If this isn’t an option, plan to get your fruits and vegetables from local farmers, which typically follow organic farming practices — meaning your food has fewer chemicals. Start each day with breakfast, and don’t shy away from energy-boosting snacks, which will keep you physically and mentally ready for whatever challenges lie ahead.

Don’t neglect your oral health.

At the end of a long day, you may be tempted to crash into bed without brushing or flossing your teeth. Don’t let that happen! Not only is tooth decay and gum disease linked to problems such as heart disease, they can also cause you to experience mental health issues such as depression. So, make sure you develop an oral health routine that you can stick to. If crooked or misaligned teeth are making it difficult to keep your teeth clean, there are at-home options available that can correct this problem in as little as three months. Byte, for example, offers clear plastic teeth aligners that straighten crooked teeth without the need for multiple trips to your dentist’s office. But don’t let that scare you; your progress is monitored remotely by a team of qualified professionals, ensuring you still get top-notch treatment. However, it’s important to note that extreme cases may require oral surgery.

Find fun in your fitness routine.

Many people sadly look at working out as a chore rather than a fun and often family-oriented activity. Let go of this notion, and open your mind to looking at fitness as playtime instead. The best way to enjoy physical activity is to go outside. Hike, swim, bike, or work in the garden. The more time you spend outdoors (even digging in the dirt), the more vitamin D, sunshine, and exercise you’ll get.

Can’t always get outside? Start a fitness routine using your phone, TV, or other smart device. If it’s time to upgrade, your wireless provider might have a special offer, so check online so you’re not stressing over money when you’re trying to enjoy a fitness routine. This will allow you to download apps and stream videos seamlessly, which can cut out some of the frustration of getting acclimated to a new routine. You can also use your phone to cast YouTube workout videos straight to your television.

Prioritize positivity.

Life is not always peaches and cream. But life is what you make it. Look for ways to add a dose of positivity to each day. Start by evaluating the space in which you live. If your home or apartment feels cramped and unclean, open the windows and purge all the things you no longer need. Redfin asserts that booting out bad energy can also relieve tension, which is especially important if the members of your family are already arguing and overly critical for no apparent reason.

Positivity does not only come from your environment but from within, as well. If you want to truly live your very best life, you have to work on yourself. Thrive Global recommends paying attention to your body language, letting yourself go blank for a moment, and finding a creative outlet for negative thoughts.

Love without fear.

For most adults, our mental and physical health doesn’t feel fully complete unless we are comfortable loving the people around us without restrictions. This could be a lover, a best friend, or a child. Unfortunately, many of us are afraid to let our guard down, despite strong personal bonds. But love is a basic human need and a physical and emotional drive. Learn to love yourself and others without fear or inhibitions, and you just may find that each day is that much brighter.

Being happy, healthy, and whole is largely influenced by how you treat yourself. Fuel your body like the temple it is, enjoy your exercise routine, and be positive and loving to yourself and those around you. Other healthy habits will fall into place, and you will soon be living your very best life. The best part is that it won’t be forced, but a natural progression that starts with a positive attitude and ends and a better you.

Author: Jennifer Scott

Looking for some fun new hobbies to add to your skill set but also looking to stay within a tight budget? Hobbies are important for relieving stress, but they shouldn’t cause you to stress about money. Here are five ways you can pick up new skills without putting a dent in your savings.

1) Discover a New Sport

Exercise can give you more energy and help you feel happier. So, why not spend some time learning how to play a new sport? Whether you prefer to play alone or as a team, there is a sport that is right for you. You can pick up tennis, golf, or swimming as an active hobby, and you can even save money on new sports equipment. Look for ways to keep costs down by using online promo codes, coupons, and cashback offers.

2) Pick Up a New Instrument

Music adds so much spice to our everyday lives, and you can take your love of music one step further by learning to play an instrument. Use promo codes to save on your instrument and sheet music purchases at retailers like Amazon. Once you have what you need, you can learn at home with online tutorials, go to group classes or look for discounted lessons and coupons through sites like Groupon. Want an even less expensive way to make music? Work on your singing game for an instrument-free way to immerse yourself in music.

3) Relax with Arts and Crafts

Another creative way to reduce stress and keep your hobby costs down is to get into arts and crafts. You can make art out of anything, from painting watercolors to creating sculptures out of literal garbage. You can also get the art supplies you need, such as brushes, paper, and paint, without maxing out your budget. In fact, it’s nearly impossible to pay full price at craft stores like Michaels with all the online promo codes and coupons available. Many of these stores offer low-cost classes to help you improve your skills, but you can also learn valuable tips online.

4) Grow a Container Garden

If you’ve been itching to get your green thumb dirty, but have been concerned about costs that container gardens may be your best option. Retailers like Home Depot have sales and deals online and they also have plenty of container options to fit any home size. You can also use items around your home — such as colanders, buckets, and even pots — to grow your own little garden of flowers, plants, or edibles. Still, make sure you look for promo codes or discount offers to help you save on soil, seeds, and other gardening supplies. While you’re online, try looking for easy gardening tips to get your green dreams started.

5) Get Creative with Makeup

You’re probably wondering how makeup can be a hobby? However, if you’ve been paying attention to social media, you know that influencers have turned makeup application into a multi-faceted, expressive skill. You can pick up tips to enhance your everyday look or get really creative with some special effects makeup. Best of all, there are plenty of drug-store and bargain-beauty brands to help you keep your cosmetic game on point. You can also easily find in-store and in-app coupon codes for stores like Sephora, where you can pick up makeup at any price point. Many stores also offer free classes or you can just look up tutorials online to help kill some stress putting together some fierce makeup looks.

Convert your Hobby into a Business

Many hobbyists are looking to put their business savvy into converting a part-time hobby into full-time revenue. If your personal and professional goals align, you could have the ultimate career: doing what you love. The starting point is often researching your market and defining your audience. Once that pencils out, it’s time to review the legal requirements for starting a business in your state.

There are a dozen potential business structures, but one that is very popular with the hobbyist-turned-entrepreneur community is the LLC. Attractive for its tax benefits, security, and ease of set up, there are still a number of steps required to establish a bonafide business. Luckily a formation service can assist with the process and is substantially less expensive than hiring an attorney.

There are tons of ways to save on the supplies you need to pick up new skills, and you can pick up lessons online or with friends. Don’t let your budget hold you back from learning a hobby!

Photo Credit: Pexels

Author: Jennifer Scott

Life can get tough, and sometimes it feels as though the burdens you bear will crush you beneath their weight. But they don’t have to. In addition to maintaining a healthy diet and exercise routine, your personal leisure activities can help you cope with everything life throws your way with the added benefits of learning a new skill and socializing with friends old and new. There are many ways to learn new skills whether through instructional videos, apps, or in-person classes. Keep reading for 10 hobbies to prioritize when you’re in a personal pickle.

Of course, adopting a hobby isn’t a substitution for getting help from a mental health professional if you’re truly struggling. If you think you may be experiencing an emotional wellness issue, contact Shushan Khachatryan, a Psychotherapist who treats depression, anxiety, trauma, OCD, and relationship issues.

Leverage Technology

Before you get started on a new hobby, think about how you’re going to learn. While there are many classes you can take in person, you can also learn through online tutorials and apps, which are especially useful if you can’t afford or don’t have the time to attend a class. You can use your smartphone to access the apps and tutorials of the hobby you choose, but you may need to upgrade your data plan to handle your usage and avoid being charged for overage. Check with your cell service provider to find a plan that suits what you need. 

10 Hobbies/Skills to Learn

1. Dancing. Few things push our physical boundaries more than the art of dance. It’s a great cardiovascular exercise that can help you get up close and personal with your partner.

2. Playing music. Learning a musical instrument has a long list of benefits that deserves a post of its own. You can learn music online or at any number of local music schools throughout the country. Musicradar interviewed a number of musicians after World Guitar Day 2017 and found that, among other things, playing music enhances creativity and can help strengthen your support network. There are also apps available for learning all kinds of instruments.

3. Drawing. Contrary to popular belief, people are not always born artists. Drawing is a skill that can be learned and there are multiple mediums to experiment with.

4. Language. Hej, halò, bonjour, and hello. Learning a new language can open up a whole new world and may even enhance your employment opportunities. And since you have to have someone to talk to, it makes the perfect pastime to do with family. Pushing foreign words into your head increases neuroplasticity, meaning it makes your brain cells grow back when they die off. Language-learning apps include Memrise and Duolingo.

5. Martial arts. Self-defense is a vital skill that everyone should learn. Martial arts in particular is in excellent activity for kids and adults alike as it helps develop teamwork skills and increases self-esteem.

6. Traveling. Inc. says it best, “Travel is a great way to liberate you from the daily routine of your life.” Learn how to travel on a budget by scouring the internet and your local library for information on out-of-the-way places.

7. Sewing. Sewing is a creative outlet that can save you money in the long run. Not only will you learn how to mend your own trousers, but also it will change the way you look at your current wardrobe.

8. Public speaking. Speaking to a crowd of people can be intimidating but learning how to speak in public can help you be more comfortable around others and will even open up opportunities for you to make a difference in your community and career.

9. Cooking. Maybe you grew up with a personal chef. Maybe you got burned as a child and haven’t ventured into the kitchen since. Whatever the reason you haven’t mastered the mixer, there’s never a bad time to learn how to cook. This valuable life skill can be learned in your spare time. Heather Barnett of SheKnows put together this recent list of online cooking classes so now you have no excuses.

10. Pottery. Manual dexterity and a new coffee mug are only two of the benefits you’ll gain from taking a pottery class. This ancient art form is good for the mind and can help you clear your head of negative thoughts.

Your Old Hobby is a New Career

Since we’re on the topic of starting new skills, it’s time to talk about taking old skills and turning them into new careers. Not many people realize that their lives don’t have to go on hold to start a new career or go back to school. Online universities like WGU make it easy to earn a degree at your own convenience while keeping your current job and work-life balance. So, if you wanted to earn a degree in IT, for example, it wouldn’t be hard to earn a degree at home.

Don’t be afraid to pick yourself up off the pavement, grab a group of friends, and schedule a class or activity that suits your interests. You might just find your soon-to-be newfound skill is exactly what was missing from your life.

Author: Jennifer Scott