Valentine’s Day is around the corner. It is suppose to be happy times for you and your partner however, things are going worse and worse day to day. That love you had towards your partner is becoming annoyance, hate, anger…
Is it a dead end to your relationship or can you save it? Try exploring these 4 red flags and if all or most apply to you, I suggest contacting a therapist to give you a helping hand. Check out the Rates and Insurance section of my website to learn about my fees. I always have monthly specials as well as other specials.
1. Lack of Communication
Do you feel your conversations are becoming shorter and shorter? That’s not a good sign. Here are some things to look for when you and your partner are exchanging words.
a) Bitter Language: This is when unconsciously or consciously you or your partner use words that are offensive or words that project accusation and criticism.
b). Negativity: This occurs when majority of your talks are negative. You only speak to one another when there is something negative to point out. You only see the flaws of your partner and fail to recognize the positive traits and actions.
c). Not Letting Go: You hold on to arguments and negative experiences however, you tend to forget the positive and happy moments in your relationship. When the right time comes, you use the past against your partner.
2. Major Change in Behavior
You are noticing behavioral changes in your partner. Your partner becomes lazy all of a sudden, does not want to spend as much time with you. The activities you used to enjoy together are no longer interesting. You partner spends more time with friends/family than with you. It is important to observe these changes and bring it up in a healthy manner. In therapy, your therapist will teach you ways to communicate these behavioral changes without being harsh.
3. Skipping Conversation Around Future Plans
” I was thinking we can go on a trip this summer. What do you think?” Imagine you asking this question and your partner avoids giving an answer or give a very short one to close the topic. “Yeah, let’s think about it when time comes”. If you cannot see excitement rising from fun plans that are in the horizon, then that gives you reason to explore. Again, in therapy, you will learn how to explore safely without offending your partner.
4. Conflict Resolution
It is OK to be in conflict and disagree with one another. In fact, it is even healthy to disagree with one another however, there is a fine line between resolving the conflict and brushing it off. Conflict which has not been resolved can become resentment, anger, hate towards one another. If you feel all your conflicts have been solved by time, meaning; you have given a few days and it sort of just vanished, then you are in trouble because it does not work that way. In reality, the conflict is still there, in your mind, neatly put in the shelf where all the other conflicts are sitting and waiting to be explored by you.